he came easy inside a warm fish

daughter: mom, i'm pregnant
mom: show me the carfax
daughter: mom... i'm not kid-
mom: the carfax
daughter: what am I going to-
mom: carfax
daughter: I can't affor-
mom: car
mom: fax

Friend: “Wow, remember when you had a crush on..”

lordtaco:

You:

wetkitty69:

why are so many lesbians fat

hasslethehoff:

i kno women r really great and pride n respect and femenism slutwalk4evr and omg the Natural beauty of the menstrual cycle look aat how Natural and Beautiful this is just please stop taking pictures of it no one cares

yeahiwasintheshit:

goddamn dog

skankpolice:

one time i chopped up some fudge and snorted lines of it

my morning

lilkimchronicles:

*bathes in pretty*

*brushes teeth with beautiful*

*combs hair with cute*

*looks in mirror*

“you’re.. beautiful” i whisper

yeahiwasintheshit:

gifts4you:

pug cant reach